A recent question prompted me to remember why I created this blog in the first place. I wanted to advocate for marrying the love of your life when the time is right. I chose those words carefully. I’m not trying to say that everyone should get married young. One should not rush into a marriage, and one should not seek out someone to marry at a young age. I’m simply saying that in my case, it was appropriate to get married at the comparatively young age of 20.
Today, my life is perfect. I wake up next to the love of my life every morning, and fall asleep in his arms at night. No, marriage isn’t always easy, but when two people get along as well as Nick and I do, it’s not a battle. I’m so blessed to have found Nick and a young age, and to be a part of two incredible, and very different, families. This have not always been easy for me.
When I first got engaged, I took a lot of criticism. Suddenly, many people thought that they knew more about what was best for me than I did. Nick’s mom didn’t speak to him for a week. I had people assuming I was pregnant. The oddest thing was it wasn’t only people that knew me that were quick to judge my decision, people I had never met already wrote my marriage off as a failure.
The worst experience I had was when I was visiting Nick’s church. I met one of Nick’s mom’s friends for the first time. She looked me in the eye and told me I was making a huge mistake, and urged me to reconsider. I was so shocked that I couldn’t speak to defend myself. This woman knew nothing about my personal history, or my family history.
In my family, there’s nothing unusual about getting married young. My two older brother, my mom and my dad all got married at 22, and my aunt got married at 20. Feeling like I had to explain my self was a burden, but I had a strong support system that helped me through that time. My best friends were extremely supportive, and I’m so thankful and lucky to have open minded friends. My family, especially my parents also supported me 100%.
Of course, planning the wedding was stressful. In-laws don’t always see eye to eye, but that’s the case in any marriage. I was so worried that there would be negative feelings for years to come.
Oddly, starting on the day of the wedding and beyond everything cooled down. Everything is going so well and my mother-in-law and I text on daily basis, and get together to scrapbook. I even made a trip out to see my other family when Nick was in Nicaragua. I say this to anyone who is struggling with in-laws.
I’m so thankful for everyone that stood by me, you are blessings in my life!
themionetohisronald-deactivated asked: My boyfriend and I are engaged, and weve been together for quite a while now, our problem, is that my mother wants me to experience life and date many different guys, and I know she'd never approve of us getting married, any idea on how to break the news to her before we get married? Or should we just do it after? My fiancé and I are both 17.
I’m sorry I didn’t respond to this earlier, I can’t see when it was sent, probably a long time ago! I didn’t realize I had messages for whatever reason.
My husbands mom also thought that he should date other people. Not all people get married to the first person you date, but if you have found the person that you love, it’s an amazing feeling to start life with them early and grow up together. I think time is a big factor. How long have the two of you been together? My husband and I were together 3 years before we got engaged, so we knew all of each other’s quirks and what not. To me, the only reason marriages don’t always work out is because the couple jumps into before they are ready.
As for your mom, I would bring up the subject lightly and see how she reacts. Pick a day that she is in a good mood! If she reacts well, be honest with her about your feelings. I lucked out, because my mom really liked Nick. He bought me a dozen roses for from, and a dozen roses for my mom, that started things out on the right foot! I really hope everything works out for you. I received a lot of criticism from some people, but after people got used to the idea, and we actually got married, everything died down.
This summer, I had an amazing experience at Augustana’s summer speech-language clinic. I describe my internship as a summer camp for kids with autism and specific language impairments, where they kids get to have fun, while receiving intervention. The two summers before this one, I was working solely for money. This is the first summer that I’m working because I love what I do. Each day I looked forward to going to work, and I find myself sad that it’s over. I’m so lucky to have found a career that I love so much.
The best part of my internship is that it included everything that I love, and many things that I’m good at. I had to use my creativity to help my supervisor come up with games, crafts and activities. I also got to work with kids every day, which is something I love to do. Over the summer I’ve become more comfortable working with kids. Since I don’t have any younger siblings, I haven’t been around kids as much as some of my peers. I was glad to find that this is something I love, and look forward to.
The most challenging part of the summer was dealing with the kid’s tantrums. While all kids become upset and frustrated when they don’t get what they want, it seems that this frustration is multiplied in children with autism. We had instances where kids were throwing toys all over the clinic. We got kicked, hit, screamed at and spit on. Sometimes, we would try everything, but there was usually nothing we could do other than wait for the storm to calm.
Another challenging aspect was realizing that no matter how hard we try to instill everything we taught in the children, the only means for generalization is through the parents. For example, we had one child that was extremely distracted by all the toys that were available. We were thus trying to empty the room of toys a bit. This little boy went into our toy closet hoping to get a castle set. Our supervisor told him no, he needed to go back to the classroom, where we already have lots of toys. The boy began to cry in his mother’s lap relentlessly. She comforted him, and eventually got him the toy. This is teaching the small boy that if he cries long enough, he can get what we wants. This case was very frustrating to me and my coworkers.
The most beneficial experiences to me were often the more challenging ones. Being around a lot of crying and tantrums was actually good for me. It taught me that kids will cry over little things, and to be patient and not give in to their every demand. I sort of desensitized myself to crying and tantrums. I now know that just because a child is crying, doesn’t always mean they have a good reason to cry, and that comforting them isn’t always the best solution. For example, we had an older boy (around 8) that would cry every time he lost Candy Land. My goal for the summer was to show him that it’s okay to lose, and you don’t always win. I feel that we made good progress on this goal. Had I instead let him cheat, and lost on purpose, he wouldn’t have learned that you don’t always win in life.
I’m thankful that I’ve taken so many great CSD classes at Augie. I was definitely prepared for my internship for all of this. I’ve reflected throughout the summer that hands on experiences can give you an experience that you can’t get in the class room. I also developed skills as a team member. I had so much fun getting to know my coworkers, and joking around with them during lunch. We even went out to lunch a few times together at the end of the year. It’s always nice to have coworkers, because they’re typically the only people that can fully understand what your day has been like. It’s fun to swap stories about different things the kids said.
The most significant goal I achieved was probably seeing the gains in the clients. There were tons of kids who surpassed speech and language goals. It’s so satisfying to see their percentages go up from the beginning of the term. Of course, there were also goals that the clients didn’t meet. While this can be frustrating, I have to remind myself that it will be easier for the next clinician that works with the child.
Each week seemed to get easier, as I got to know the kids more. There was one little boy who would often cry during circle time, and no one really knew why. I eventually figured out that if he was given a cup of water, he would drink it and stop crying. My mom always did this with me as a child, and it really worked for this little one.
This internship leaves me feeling excited to learn more about my field in graduate school. Although I’ve finished all the CSD undergraduate classes, there are so many classes I have yet to take in grad school. I look forward to these, because they are a lot more specific. Further, I can’t wait to become an SLP! I’m so glad I’ve found a job that I love so much.
What an incredible year Nick and I have had as a married couple. We’re so lucky to have met so early in life, and watch each other grow up. We’re come so far in the past year. We learn a lot from each other, and we better each other. I’ve taught Nick the importance of giving 100% in school, and Nick has begun to teach me to relax, let go and not take everything so seriously. I’m so grateful to Nick for this. I’ve learned that life is always changing. People change, and situations change, and sometimes it’s better to accept these changes than to try and fight them.
We’ve had a busy year! Nick’s learned to pay the taxes and pay the bills. I’ve been learning how to juggle work and school, something Nick has done since middle school! It’s been so challenging, and I understand Nick’s world so much more. College was a breeze when I didn’t have to spend so many hours at work. I’m thankful that God has been with me as manage my time will continue to make good grades.
We’re so blessed to have the support of both of our families. It hasn’t always been easy, but things are going very well these days. I’ve been so glad to be able to spend time with my second family while my parents are away.
My Dad is taking a three month sabbatical in Canada. It’s been two months since I saw my parents. I’ve been as strong as I can, but I miss them a lot. My dad is my role model, and my mom is a major part of my support system. It’ll be so great to see them again! I think a lot of people forget that that this is the longest time I’ve gone without my parents, and it’s been tough on me. I’m thankful that I have Nick and my family, as well as his entire family to keep me company.
Nick just spent two weeks in Nicaragua on dental mission. He had an amazing time, and made tons of new friends. I stayed at home, and was lucky enough to have one of my best friends stay with me. She really helped me get through those two weeks. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I thank God for blessing me with such an incredible sister in Christ. We joke about being “sister wives” since we’re both pretty handy around the house. I would go to work, and come come to find out that she cleaned my entire kitchen, did the dishes, and made my bed. I’m so blessed!
Nick surprised me by driving home in the whee hours of the morning. What a great surprise! It’s been so nice to wake up next to love of my life every morning again. These experience taught me that we can make it through anything. In a few months, I’ll be gone for 5 weeks, in Cambodia. Interestingly, Cambodia is a lot like Nicaragua, even though there not not close to each other on the glove. This time it will be Nick’s turn to stay alone at home. Luckily, he’ll have school to keep him busy. I just hope doesn’t starve without my cooking! I’ve been trying to teach him how to make a few basic dishes. Cooking is a basic skill that everyone should have. When Nick puts his mind to it, he is quite an excellent cook, he just usually doesn’t have the motivation. He’s learning though! When I’m gone for the night, I’ll come home and ask what Nick ate for dinner. Usually the answer is “Uhhh dinner? I don’t know. I think I forgot to eat”. I may be coming home to a skin and bone husband. Lets hope not! Maybe I should set alarms on his phone reminding him to eat.
Nick and I have both had incredible internships. I’ve learned so much this summer from my work with children with autism. I’ve been so lucky to work with such a unique population of children. I’ve decided that one can only learn so much in class. We have to get out into the world and get our hands dirty, before we can fully understand a disorder or an intervention technique. Nick’s been working for Community Health Care. He’s really loving what he does! I’m so proud of Nick. He’s going to make a great dentist some day.
Nick and I have been enjoying working out together during our free time. Yesterday we were at the park working out, and a little girl asked us to push her on the swing. Nick was talking with her and asked her if she knew what a pull-up was. she responded “Ya, it’s a kind of diaper!” It was adorable!
We’re so glad to be back together and to be able to spend time with each other everyday. Hopefully I won’t go an entire year between posts, but who knows!
Nick and I met in 7th grade at Rivermont Collegiate. We both started at Rivermont, a small private preschool-high school, in 2003. My first memory I have of Nick was standing back to back with him and discovering that I was taller than him. I’d like to point out this is still true today, by a fraction of an inch.
Nick claims that he had a crush on me on and off since 7th grade. He didn’t know which foreign language he was supposed to go to, so he followed me to spanish! This is funny because I was taking a more advanced spanish, and he was supposed to be in a beginner course.
We were essentially acquaintances during 7th and 8th grade. I remember hearing a rumor in 7th grade that Nick Cummins was going to ask me out at the end of second quarter. Obviously, he didn’t follow through. He says he chickened out!
I was looking at a notebook from 9th grade geometry, and found a note that says “Nicky C is really annoying”. I guess that’s what I thought of him then! Nick has a strange sense of humor that not everyone appreciates. I’ve learned to love it.
We did go on our first date in 9th grade. Nick spent a good five minutes trying to explain to me how a particular bomb worked. Needless to say, it wasn’t a success.
Things finally started to work out for the two of us our Sophomore year of high school. At last we both liked each other and started to date on December 22nd of 2006.
Our relationship began slow, but after a few months our love grew quickly. It’s so funny to think how far we’ve come. When we started dating, we were 15. Neither of us had our driver’s licenses. Then for a good period I had to drive Nick around everywhere.
While we were dating we enjoyed playing mini-golf, watching movies, and eating at Tantra, our favorite Asian restaurant. During high school we would go to subway every Tuesday after school.
We both ended up at Augustana, because of the school’s great academics and excellent programs for the majors we intended to pursue. Of course, our choice may have been slightly influenced by the fact that we weren’t ready to give each other up.
During our freshman year, we had very different schedules. It was hard to adjust to this after hanging out everyday after school in high school. Inevitably, we made it work. Nick joined my family on our annual trip to Montana. We set out on a private ski on on December 22nd 2009, our three year anniversary. When he reached the overlook at the top of a mountain, Nick got down on one knee and proposed to me. Of course I said yes!
Almost a year later, we’re working on planning our wedding together and finding an apartment for next year. The last four years with Nick have been amazing, I can’t wait to see what the next forty bring.
Nick and I thought it would be fun to start a blog together, I guess it’s the latest thing for couples?
Let me catch you up to speed.
Nick and I got engaged last december, on our three year anniversary. We’re now planning our wedding for this June.
It’s been a lot of stress, but we’re loving it!
A lot of people question our judgement about getting married so young. I can honestly say this isn’t the way I expected my life to turn, but I am eternally grateful that God brought Nick and I together.
It was practically a twist of fate. Before I met Nick, I went to an all girl’s school in Columbus Ohio. If my Dad hadn’t gotten a job at Augustana, we may have never met!
We met, by the way, in seventh grade. Oh, how time has flown. For me, it wasn’t love at first site, but Nick claims he’s liked me since seventh grade!
We began dating in 10th grade, and eventually grew into best friends.